Long time no news from me. I feel he never loves me, never ever...sad but true

It is a long time that I didn't write any thing... I was busy...busy as usual. But tonight I feel need...need to talk...

I turn on the music, not my favorite one but one of them. I know now emotion is the factor leads me...

I know it is not the case I am suited. I know but don't believe and so I am afraid. I am afraid. I am stupid...I am crazy and idiot. I feel all of them. I know I am stepping in a wrong way just in the hope that ends to a garden. I see it is going to be more muddy, looks swamp. I may get stuck in it. I may not be anymore movie till the end of my life.

Life changes but I am still A GIRL

She felt better for a short time. She was happy and relieved, but last night she saw every thing is again going to be bad. She doesn't have any support. People cannot help her and the only person who can help her is herself. People just need her help, and nobody helps her. She made a break, mentally. Nevertheless, stresses are worse than before some times. No body, no body accept to take care of her. People just scared when they see she has so many and just need a little more. The last step to be close to frontier. As long as she cannot get it, she cannot reach the point and all attempts sounds fucked up...

Lonely girl in group of best friends

Some times she feels alone, totally without any supporter, neither friend nor family.

Yesterday was a bad day for her, maybe yesterday superstition of 13th of month came true and this unluckiness caught her. She was crying whole the day, whether she did it facially or hearty…

The problem is that she never wants to give up. She always wants to fight, for what she wants and thinks to be deserved to achieve, against destiny. She believes so far in destiny in just one point of life: when she defeats and sees no more energy to keep fighting. In other moments of her life, destiny doesn’t have any place, even in corner, in her mind. Nevertheless, she never refuses the role of destiny in moments of fighting.

She wants to be an independent girl and perfect, the same as years ago when she was at home. But it doesn’t sound easy under these circumstances. She knows it is not easy, but it is a brittle excuse for her to give up or take it easy. First one never recommended to her, whereas the second one strongly suggested. Both seem to her wrong at this time corresponding to the situation. She just thinks about keep fighting…


Girl is tired, disappointed and frustrated; scared from future and still in an insecure sense…she is younger and less experienced so that she knows how to manage problems. She lost nice relation hopefully temporary with friends and family…She doesn’t know what she should do…She is waiting for the result, hopefully some nice solutions, by the end of this week…

She is in love…She is going to be deported…She is sad…sad…sad…so deep…

Berghain/Panoramabar(Ostgut)

The place should be visited at least for once. I was there last night and half of today! When you are in, you cannot leave. The music is really perfect, you can just imagine some thing better, but probably nowhere you can find something better. The atmosphere is strange. Different from other clubs, there are 25% of guests who look at everything so surprised. 25% of guests are normal people who wants to spend time to have fun after a hard week as they've promised to themselves a nice weekend in Berghain. And the rest, the part that Berghain/Panoramabar(Ostgut) is well known for it are people who I had never seen them together accumulated in one place. I was impressed by them

You are satisfied with each desire you have. Not only your heart and min is satisfied, but also your eyes, ears, and you body is satisfied. Nothing stressful there except the first part: Entrance!

It is located close to Sbahn Ostbahnhof, but you cannot find it easily. I asked two guys for the address and they answered "We know berghain is close, but don't know exactly where"! People usually come there by Taxi and this was the first time I saw a long line of taxis waiting for guests who leave Berghain. The interesting thing is the number of people who come by bike! I have never noticed that nobody goes by bike to a club except Berghain!!!

No doubt, Berghain/Panoramabar(Ostgut) is one of the best all over the world as you can see under:

http://www.djmag.com/index.php?op=top100club&top100club_op=display&club_top_100_id=101&status=live&limit_num=100&page=1

And whats more:

"Berlin, with six entries, emerged as the city with the most clubs in the top 100. The DJs questioned voted the “Berghain” with its accompanying Panorama Bar as the best club. The former power station near the Ostbahnhof in Friedrichshein is notorious for its hedonistic atmosphere, its selective door policy and endless opening hours, with parties running into the late hours of Sunday evening each week."

All in all, I like it and hope to have access to get in again.

Scorpio

The Sex God of the Zodiac has quite a lot to live up to! The Scorpion does just that, thank you very much. The sexual prowess and drive of those born under this sign is legendary.Scorpions smolder with every come-hither look, alluring wink of an eye and mysterious stare. If you want to ride a tiger to an emotional and sexual crescendo, jump on the curvy back of the sleek Scorpion. The Scorpio lover has an almost hypernatural libido, and loves giving sensual pleasure, although receiving it is nice, too. Variety as the spice of life is the golden rule here, and Scorpio loves to choreograph the scene for maximum mutual satisfaction. Any lover stepping into this lair best be ready, since keeping up is a must. Scorpions adore a lover who can go on forever, the perfect gift for this truly sexual being. If that lover brings some toys along, things will be tied up oh-so-neatly.

Dey deley deley deley ...

Lyrics are from Hafiz a Persian mystic and poet:

Don’t let your hair with the wind blow,Else to the wind, caution I’ll throw.Don’t let foundations elegantly grow,Else my foundation will dissolve and go.Choose where you bestow thy grace,Else I’ll wallow in disgrace.When you are present in every place,Every place, my protests will face.The locks of your hair are curled like a chain,Enslaved to those locks, in chain I remain.When with your curls you entertain,Your curls will only drive me insane.Strangers do not befriend,Else I might be lost in the trend.Let not my rivals on you depend,This makes me sad, and will offend.Let your face color, your cheeks blush,Your beauty, the rose bud, aside brush;Let your stature rise up tall and lush,And the tallest cedars simply crush.Don’t become every room’s candle flame,Else my flames of jealousy can’t tame.Don’t treat every people the same,So that you may not forget my name.Don’t become known to all in this town,Else I’ll find the ocean, myself drown.Don’t keep me distant with your frown,Else I’ll tear to threads my shirt and gown.Have mercy upon me and compassion,Else hear the infamy of my passion.Hafiz will embrace your oppression,Was freed since enslaved in this fashion.Don’t let your hair with the wind blow,Else to the wind, caution I’ll throw.Don’t let foundations elegantly grow,Else my foundation will dissolve and go.Choose where you bestow thy grace,Else I’ll wallow in disgrace.When you are present in every place,Every place, my protests will face.The locks of your hair are curled like a chain,Enslaved to those locks, in chain I remain.When with your curls you entertain,Your curls will only drive me insane.Strangers do not befriend,Else I might be lost in the trend.Let not my rivals on you depend,This makes me sad, and will offend.Let your face color, your cheeks blush,Your beauty, the rose bud, aside brush;Let your stature rise up tall and lush,And the tallest cedars simply crush.Don’t become every room’s candle flame,Else my flames of jealousy can’t tame.Don’t treat every people the same,So that you may not forget my name.Don’t become known to all in this town,Else I’ll find the ocean, myself drown.Don’t keep me distant with your frown,Else I’ll tear to threads my shirt and gown.Have mercy upon me and compassion,Else hear the infamy of my passion.Hafiz will embrace your oppression,Was freed since enslaved in this fashion.

Picture from http://www.elegantbay.com/iran/maleki/iman.htm