Long time no news from me. I feel he never loves me, never ever...sad but true

It is a long time that I didn't write any thing... I was busy...busy as usual. But tonight I feel need...need to talk...

I turn on the music, not my favorite one but one of them. I know now emotion is the factor leads me...

I know it is not the case I am suited. I know but don't believe and so I am afraid. I am afraid. I am stupid...I am crazy and idiot. I feel all of them. I know I am stepping in a wrong way just in the hope that ends to a garden. I see it is going to be more muddy, looks swamp. I may get stuck in it. I may not be anymore movie till the end of my life.